Climate change has become a pressing issue, as scientists predict it will become irreversible in 10 years if we can’t find a way to fix it. We have tried our best to solve it through recycling, decreasing fossil fuels and utilizing solar energy, but only about 21% of our total energy is renewable. So clearly this is not enough. Joe Cool is ready to address this problem with his new icy ideas.
Who is Joe Cool? Educated at the University of Air Conditioning Repair in California, Joe Cool is not your average Joe. Joe Biden has created a new cabinet position for him, titled the Secretary of Climate Control. The average Joe doesn’t have to worry about limiting their consumption anymore, because Secretary Joe Cool has it covered. American citizens can live freely without worrying about when to recycle or when they leave the lights on. Everyone can return to proudly keeping the faucet on while brushing their teeth. Joe Cool is single-handedly going to solve global warming by utilizing our manmade resources. He described his solution on a recent TikTok live, saying, “We need to keep the outdoors cool, as well as indoors. And how do we do this? The exact same way we keep our living room cool during the summer. The solution for climate change is air conditioning units, ice, and fans outdoors.” Cool has a concrete plan of how he will single-handedly “cool the world.”
Secretary Joe Cool dismisses people who question his solution, saying: “How do fossil fuels contribute to global warming? Fossils are underground!” His solution will address the “real” problem by installing air conditioners in every neighborhood park and community, and ice boxes so every kid can cool down on their way to school. Recycling and reusing is a thing of the past, because Joe Cool states, “Reusing things is gross. I want every American to have the opportunity to own things fresh out of the factories.” Cool also describes factories as being part of the solution: “The pollution that factories emit doesn’t matter, because the air conditioning units they’re making for us will cool down the Earth.” He believes that businesses and producers fixing their ways is not the way to solve global warming. If they don’t benefit from this, why would they change their ways? That’s why Joe Cool is going to solve everything for everyone, and help support businesses too. It’s too much work to get the entire world to agree to change their habits. Cool is the one person who can save us all.
We end this article with a challenge straight from Joe Cool. While he is the single person who will solve climate change, he suggests, “If you’re really interested in saving the planet, order yourself a couple of fans from Amazon to keep outside your house.”
Seriously, who’s cooling it better than Joe Cool?