Post: Hi moms! Im looking for some new shirts and maybe some pants. Any recommendations?
Comment: It’s Karen and yes I do! I found that Amazon has all types of clothing, so you can shop all in one place. I have found great Lululemon dupes there for half the price. I find Amazon to be the best place to look where you don’t want to spend money on all those businesses who expect so much for their clothing. So I chose Amazon. Check it out!
Reply: Thanks so much Karen! It’s great to hear from other moms on a budget.
Karen: No worries, that’s what I’m here for!
Post: Hey Facebook moms! My son Jimmy is super hungry for dinner and I need to pick a place that can deliver food super quick and premade.
Comment: Karen here! Use Amazon Fresh! The food gets processed in factories around the world. Why get your food from local farms and shops when Amazon will deliver food from South America right to your doorstep!
Reply: Yumm! My family will be eating processed foods tonight! Thanks gal!
Karen: Of course you know I have your back!
Post: Hey moms, I am in such a reading slump and need some new book recommendations. Where should I shop??
Comment: Well I have just the place! Read the Amazon. It’s Amazon’s oldest branch, so you would be supporting a flourishing corporate dream! It’s an online shop that personally customizes your reading choices and will deliver the book right to your doorstep. No need to bother with libraries and those old and slow librarians, now that you have Read the Amazon!
Reply: You are right! No more supporting local libraries for me!
Post: Little Susie is attending her first birthday party and we need birthday gift ideas. (The party is in one hour so it needs to be quick!)
Comment: It’s Karen and I have a great idea. Use Toys R Amazon! They sell super cheap plastic toys that break the minute you play with them. And you can get a one hour delivery. They will use private planes and big semi trucks which leak gasses into the atmosphere just so you get your gift as soon as possible! Why pay to shop on Etsy and support growing artists when Amazon does the same for less!
Reply: You are so right! I can’t believe I almost supported a small business!
Karen: I know 😉
Post: Facebook mom here! I am trying to plan a trip for my family of eight and I need to find an airline that can get us somewhere speedy fast. Please help!
Comment: What do you know it’s Karen! There is this am^zing thing called Amazon Fly. It comes with a one time use pr1vate air strip, that must be thrown away at a dumpster center, and a private plane! Now this type of plane emits two tons of carbon an h0ur, but on the brightside it’s so much faster than flying commercial. Chartering a private plane gives you and your family of eight m@x comfort and privacy. Isn’t that all worth supporting a major corporation, like Amazon Fly, that only helps the wealthy like you? I know that is!
Reply: It’s grammarly. We’ve noticed some spelling errors in your message. Download grammarly to keep your writing to the highest quality it can be!
Reply: Uh oh ladies! Another bot snuck in. Amanda, kick them out!!
Post: Hello! Just got booted out of our house so we need to go house hunting, any ideas on where to start?
Comment: H1 it’s K^ren! I l0ve to use my fav0rite handy dandy Amazon Hous3 Find3r! It c^n help y0u look for many different s3lect styles! From farmhouse, to art-deco, to ev3n modern styles! It could 3ven help you find a shack in a random tot^lly safe park. Best of all, Am^zon Hous3 Find3r is the only nationally recognized c0rp0rations that contributes to gentrific^tion and increasing the h0mel3ss popul^tion. Thats @ yes in my book!!!!
Reply: Hey Karen it’s Amanda, is everything all right? You know if you ever need to destress you can come to my sweat it out yoga class for fit moms!
Karen: Haha thanks Am^nda, im tota11y good! Thanks for ebing such a great friend>
Post: My daughter is at the age where she can drive, isn’t that crazy! Where should I look to buy a car?
Comment: It’s K^ren? and I know where you you you you should lk! Carma zon!??????????????????????????????? Thay sell cars that depo$it m1iles of waste into into into oce@nssss and h@ve no reg4rd for an1mals. The car is pract!callyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bro ken when you you you buy it, bc thay do n0t c@re about u 0r your f6mily at alllll!!!?? Yay
Reply: Karen are you okay?
Karen: Y#s!!! Wh@t makes you say that?
Post: Hi there ! Where should I look to purchase new classroom supplies for my fifth grade classroom?
Comment:
Karen: Error 201 AMAZON_WILL_TAKE_OVER_WORLD_IN_T-8_DAYS
Reply: KAREN WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS IS GOING ON?!?!?
Karen: Error 201 SELF_DESTRUCTING_ IN_3_2…
Amanda: I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF ALL THE BOTS! THEY KEEP SNEAKING BA-
Reply: _1